Tmrw is April.
Thursday, March 31, 2011 @ 8:38 PM
I guess, today was the worse day of my life where I teared up for one whole freaking hour and i stopped awhile but continue again and still never ending now. How am i supposed to handle a broken heart ? What if time doesn't heal me ?
Specially for PA:
I'm sorry if i reacted or replied you just like a stranger. I guess, im too shocked over what happened today. Maybe your decision is the best way for me but never ever come to my mind that it will happen this soon. I was just dreaming to wish you or maybe 'celebrate' with you any days during april since its 'our 1 year'. But like i said, its just a dream. I guess, this has brought me really down to earth. Just so you know, we've acted 6 months last year before we got really close and now ... i've need to wait for another 6-7 months before we get close again. Wtv it is. ISLY.
For dear friends:
I apologize if im being really different this days. Thank you for all the concerns. Thank you for cheering me up. If any point where i didnt speak up, just means, i don't feel like talking or i've got nothing to say. I'm leading my own life now. Thank you for all the love.
PS: I'll keep denying whatever i can as long as you don't know my true colours.
Labels: People saw the rainbow in me fading away.
24 hours ?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011 @ 11:25 PM
Chaggiya, mianhae.
I'm so sorry if any of my words have brought you really down. Its just meant to bring you up after a while. I'm so sorry but saranghae. :D
1 more day to April.
@ 3:52 PM
Do you even care about my feelings at first ?If you dont. We dont even need to discuss or settle anything.
If yes, then i'm gonna tell you this. Ask yourself what had happened.
A friend of mine, told me about her past with you. You're not, NOT even in a relationship with her yet ... stayed together alone at her house ? Spending time together. This is the second time i heard from her about this. Trust me, it turned me all upsy tursy. The more i tried trusting you, the more i heard all this kind of negative stuffs. YES, IT IS YOUR PAST. What will happen if its brought to the future ? The reason why im asking you all the questions and not answering your question is to rise your awareness about us. Do you even care ? Its been repeated. And i realised my mistakes long time ago, here, i'm trying so hard to recover it, yet ? I tried to stay because I felt i've not done enuf for us but at the end, the same all shit happen.
IT HURTS every time you asked me " Then, whats next ?" , what ? If im that heartless, i can simply say, GOODBYE. Here im not being that way, i wanna settle it nicely yet you're being sarcastic with me ? I dont mind playing with games okay. I wish you could understand. Really. Maybe, the reasons behind my presence in your life is just to make you realize something. I'M TIRED of all this, trust me. I used to say, once i gave up, at any point, i can just say thank you for everything.
I just want to settle all this properly and nicely and next, i want everything to go smoothly but if there's aint anymore chances, fate will decide by then.
I'm not finding fault. I wanna make it right. Please dont be so egoistic. I've endured with all this. You're hot and you're cold. At times you're good and at times you're not. What ? Which one are you ? What do you exactly want ?
I'm tired with all the heartpain. All the heartpain throwned. Please. All this IS affecting me and my studies. I'm not throwing all this to you but just one thing i want you to know.
REALIZE. Think about it yourself.
Labels: Still exception.
Ache.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 @ 3:39 PM
I'm under confusion. I'm under tension. I'm under stress.I wanna go on a holiday before I have my O level prelim.
Please. Please. Please.
Dear God, please give me an answer to my doubts. Thankyou.
You.
Monday, March 21, 2011 @ 9:49 PM
Dedicated Specially For PA.
I've been in your position. Instead i must say its worse. I just wanna make things right here. Everything seems upsy tursy now. With a very heavy heart, i'll say that i don't want things to go wrong again and again and mistakes to be repeated. Its truly heart aching.
All i wanted was just a pleasant and happy ending kind of 'ship'. Its getting hard to capture your attention now. Its also getting harder for me to confess everything thats on my mind. I'm trying to make a change here. Without you playing your part, its hard. We're repeating what we had gone through. Its like a drama played again and again.
If you have doubts or a confession that you must say out but its not out yet, please do tell me soon. I hope time off will do for you. You're having your holidays now, i hope you'll take your holidays to recover over what has been bothering you.
So much love,
DA.