Gotta get there with you .

You broke this fragile heart of mine for a million times and you ignore it , you left it there just like that without even dare to touch it or even fixed it back ! Fugger . "

I just want him to know and feel how i'm feeling now . Its been a month . Damn it . I hate this feeling . Do i even need you at the first place ? No . Maybe the way you treat ladies , MAYBE its the only thing i respect . Which is always there for the 'her' . OH I HATE YOU . You may said that there might be people who wanna replace your place , wtv the so called is about . Just dont understand you .

Grrrrrr ~ Its getting hard now .

Okay, im still stressing on whether to take up Student Council or NCDCC as my so called priority .

Im left with a week to decide . Lets just see . I would prefer SC though . NCDCC ? Dotzsx .

Im just being nice to all my people cause they are being nice towards me , not that im flirting you himbo . Fugger .

Im off , tata .

Labels: N O T H I N G AT ALL .

Bussey days ,

Saturday, February 20, 2010 @ 1:30 PM

Goooooooood Afternoon Peeeepos !

Lemme just share about yesterday & upcoming activities ( for today ) .

So yesterday was .... dotzsx . No comment actually , fire drill in sch , suck . HAHAHHA !

After school , straight away had SC meeting . Next week new student leader will be nominated !

Twinneh go ! Okay , after that , NCDCC . Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwh ! Sucha hard choice .

Pioneer NCDCC was invited to join NDP10 and im NOT joining . (:

Inside possibility centre ;

Mdm Chua and Sec 3s were talking about SNCO course , leadership incharge like that lah .

Blah3 .....

Mdm Chua : *look at me* , So Shikin you want to be SNCO ?

Me : (I was looking down, suddenly looked up at Mdm Chua and stare, giving the 'somanythingsisracingthrumymind' look) (After a few seconds)

Uhm , i dont know uh Ma'am . *unsure look*

- Background sound

Twinneh & Whoever : Blah3 ...... because of someone .... Ooooooooooowwwwwwhhhhhhhh !

* you know the sound when someone just burst your secret out . not . *

Mdm Chua : Blah3 .... Shikin ..... heartbroken .

Syawal Ska : (insert name) eh ?

Me : Yeah .

- Background sound

Peoples : Awwwww . Shikin , just go laah , dont care him .... blah3 . ( I swear , it was kindda noisy. )

Twinneh : Ma'am , call him lahhhhh , ask him not to instruct !

Mdm Chua : Okay okay , I call HQ now ! *step to take out her hp* Cannot lah , like they allow like that . *laughs* ( The rest laughed as well )

Me : No laaah , i think first okaaay . I dont know .

And it goes again .... Ma'am called me to go out as she wanna talk to me . So yeah .

Mdm Chua : So , Shikin , if you cant go for March then you go for June . How ? Blah3 ..... HIM .

Me : Its not about HIM Ma'am , its just ...... tough .

Mdm Chua : But one of your reasons is about him right ? *giggles*

Me : *grin* Kindda .

Mdm Chua : Okay nevermind , next week you tell me okay , think carefully .

Me : Okay . *go inside room*

Dang , didn't know its really hard . Someone burst out my secret and there is goes . Actually Mdm Chua knew it ald but then ... Dots , no comment about yesterday's conversation between Ma'am and Sec 3s . Its not really about him , like as if i even wanna care . Abit uh , atleast . But yeah , SP in the house . Like who cares , Shekyn Pattinson , the evil stuff . Okay , wtv . Yeah , its hard but i just .... Grr ~ Okay , nevermind . Stupid .

I have a week to think about this . So lemme think wisely and carefully . Heh .

I did 1 quiz and 1 prediction on facebook && i like those answers . Lemme just share .

Quiz ; What is your life quote ?

- "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

~ Leave the hurtful or sad times in the past. As well as regrets also. You cannot achieve happiness by dwelling on the past. To many people stress about the "would haves" "could haves" & the "If I only did things differently" You can't change the past. It is done. It's over. Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.

Prediction ; Tara's prediction .

- "Ashikin dear, if things seem too much, take a little time out for yourself. Once centered, you'll realize how much good there really is in your life and you'll feel a lot better."

My sixth sense this days is really really good . Without me knowing , im really fast . Fast in some stuffey .

Things had been good . Life's getting better . Hopefully. MS and myself is ald in good terms. Glad. No more cold war.

Gonna be abit more busy with stuffs starting from this week. On monday , total defence skit early in the morning infront of the whole school. Oh people , please dont laugh . *freaking out*

Cooking competition try out on monday as well over at Barney's house . Nomination of president in SC .

Test test and test ! omgeee . Dead and gone .

Alright , sucha long post , gotta stop now . Tataaaaaaaa ! :D

I dont wanna fight this kind of war .

Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 8:20 PM

Till this second , I still don't know whose the best . Maybe i'm just blinded for now but slowly , i'm realising it .

For MS ;

Guess , i must admit again , guys have a straight mind of thinking . Do you know , that your smile ever brightened up my day . Just of one smile of yours . Its okay about the sunset date we used to talk about , its just that ... I don't know but uhm , just hope that you'll recover as soon as possible alright . Just don't wish to see you sick . I don't dare to look at you cause i know , you're already more than 50% giving up or even did . Even if i open the chance again , i'm not sure if you're gonna open up again cause you might not be that type of person . Maybe . I'm sorry again , MS . We never wanted this things to happened but things changed and it all comes from me since the Batam trip . I'm sorry . Overall its my fault . I understand your complicated situation . Its up to you to choose .

Loves , Beylo .

Labels: I Miss MS .

Dhiyaulhaq .

Wednesday, February 17, 2010 @ 9:21 PM

Just wanna say big big big thank you to Danial and Aunty Nora for inviting me to Bby Dhiyaulhaq's 1st Birthday Party on the 16th . Natyqa tagged along since she know Danial . HAH . I felt so honoured . Aunty Nora was really really nice . :D

Pictures Belooooooooooow !

Never forgetting , special thanks to MR , for the preseent ! :D

Specially For MS ;

I'm sorry , I didn't mean to even show that sarcastic smile but .. behind this sarcasm , i must admit , i have my reasons . But honestly , i wasn't showing my sarcastic smile . I just can't bare to look at you , to stare in your eyes cause the one thing i fear is to watch you go . Just go like that . You already had gave me the signs and symptoms to it . I just don't know how to face you , all i know , once i face you . This heart of mine will just break again and again . I'm sorry . Your thinking is just wrong . I'm sorry , again . Maybe afterall its my fault , its all up to you . Alright . I'm sorry . Maybe its meant to be this way . Though I never regret having you in my love life .

Ex . Nyeahahahhaha ! XD

Cute Right ?! OMGEEE . Its really nice !

Alright . Im off . Toodles ~

My Name Is Khan .

Monday, February 15, 2010 @ 11:20 AM

" My Name Is Khan & I'm Not A Terrorist " .

Rizvan Khan, a man from India, moves to San Francisco and lives with his brother and sister-in-law. Rizvan (Shahrukh Khan), who has Aspergers, falls in love with Mandira (Kajol). Despite protests from his family, they get married and start a small business together. They are happy until September 11, 2001 when attitudes towards Muslims undergo a sea-change. When tragedy strikes, Mandira is devastated and they split. Rizvan is confused and very upset that the love of his life has left him. To win her back, he embarks on a touching and inspiring journey across America.

'My Name is Khan' is the triumphant story of an unconventional hero overcoming obstacles to regain the love of his life.

So this is the movie that i watched just now at 1 till 4am with my sisters, brother and cousins . Its duration is 3 hours . And through out that 3 hours , ALL i can do it nothing but cry , cry & cry . It a very touching + saddening + a lesson for some people as well . OH , HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT MOVIE . Thought of not going because of certain reasons but afterall , its worthy . I dont mind watching it again and again and again . Shahrukh Khan had Aspergers Syndrome but damn , he's just too intelligent . This movie is so called about racism , hatred , beliefs , god , different races and religions . This movie also is all about 'hatred' towards Muslims . So , muslim people , better watch it . LOL . Why am i even promoting , but never the less , this movie , is awesome ! So tragedy of natural disasters also happened in the movie . Which means .. this movie wanna show ..

- Natural Disaster kills people .
- Dont be racism , love and respect any other races or religions .
- Help people whose in need .

- No ones perfect , but a person having syndrome can do more than us . :D

Its all inside us .

Never regret watching it .

Pantun with MS .

Friday, February 12, 2010 @ 3:24 PM

B: Ehy , jom main pantun .

G: Random gilerzsx ! Okay .

B: Duduk beramai-ramai di kolong block .

Sudah kah cik adik , mempunyai cowok ?

G: Dengar lagu di radio ,

Tidak lah cik abang , saya solo .

B: Sedang dengar radio , tiba tiba batt habis .

Cik adik oi , harap2 carik lah laki yang manis !

G: manis bunga , manis senyuman .
jikalau takdir menerima , insyallah dijodohkan .

B: Bila di jodohkan jangan lah lupa MS .
apa2 hal , please la SMS .

( I was watching tv show , because i replied late , he said i lose. )

B: Pergi ke bandar menunggang moto .
bila cik adik maw tido ?

G: Jatuh cinta , jatuh gelas ,

cik adik tido pukul sebelas .

B: Ke sekolah di waktu pagi ,

nnt tido , jangan lupa cuci kaki .

B: Di mp3 dengar lagu Boom Boom pow .

sry uh sayang , i want to sleep now .

G: Datang sane , datang sini ,

jangan lupe mimpikan i malam ni .

( I called him something that he doesnt like ... )

B: bila tidur, mengunakan bantal .
please sei , i sangup di pangil gatal .

Labels: I Miss MS .

This is Us .

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 10:17 PM

YEAAAAAAAAAY . BEST SPEAKER ! -.-

Damn , school was just simply so bullshitto . Alright , lessons was as boring as usual . Nyeahaha .

After sch , had enrichment , was the last lesson which means there's stage performance , damn , why am i even choosen ? Won a medal as a best speaker .

Tomorrow , maths retest ! Die die . Haven't revise . Standard form and Indices ? Can make it lah eh . not . Anywaaaaaaays , candidates gw . Most left and i'm left with around 2-3 more . The rest settled down . Thank you to Barney and Rara for encouraging me to accept him though its still hard cause some ppl just doesn't accept . Thinking back about My Matrep , its hard for me to say Yes to D . I'm referring this thing to my friends who knw abt this thing .

MR sent me this message

( its lyrics from 2 different songs, there are more, lazy to type) ;

I could be the one give you all my love ,

Forget what he has done to you ,

I'm here now open up to me ,

Love will set you free ,

If you ever believed ,

Then please believe in me .

Nothing brings me down when you're around ,

It's like zero gravity ,

The world just disappears when you're here ,

It's zero gravity .

XOXO .

Saat Terakhir .

Monday, February 8, 2010 @ 10:16 PM

Just wanna say this : Special Thanks to My Slenger and My Matrep for being there for me just now . Thank you so much . Thank you for the advice and stuffs . I love you guys laaaah ! ^^

So , basically , today was my damaged day , destroyed by SOME people . Just wish you will be reading this , i didn't mean to 'reject' you but as what i said to you , i'm just not ready to be in some kind of relationship . Ya , i gave you choice to choose so maybe you choose that pathway and leave .

So now , i'm just supposed to say thank you for ever once exist in my love life . Thank you for all those sweet memories we had . Thank you so much , N .

Since few gone , so i'm left with a few , so much complication and so much relation , so much dislikes and i'm dead and gone . Happiness gone . Sadness always come pass thru me .

So lost in words . I'm searching for my happiness now , please don't block my way .

Friends , I've been dreaming about the guy that you ladies don't like . What can i do to prevent it ? I've been hoping that i'll know whose gonna be 'the one' for me even if he's gonna exist in my dreams and HE's the one who had been existing in my dreams . Don't blame me if i ever fall for him cause he's the sincere one , he's been there for me thru out , though i know he did a big mistake in the past but i guess , he changed abit , just abit to reassure me about his heart .

So , yeaaah . If any of my girlfies read this , just wanna you guys to understand .

And to My Baby Nadilah , HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY SAYAAAAAAAAAAAAANG !

I love you , XOXO ! Stay cute , chubby , prettaye , sexy and lesby and OLD -.- ! *winkwink*

Im off , toodles .

Labels: I still need my My Matrep .

5th .

Friday, February 5, 2010 @ 10:33 PM

Should I answer say yes or should i say no cause if i say no , i can't bare to hurt me . Really ! :(

Alrightey . Hmm , HELLO ! Damn , lessons today are sooooooooo boring !

Mother tongue today so horny hell . -.-' We were discussing about punctuation . Tok Yem , horny . Masyallah . From titik (fullstop) , then he changed the topic to boobies . Pathetic . And guys in my malay class laugh laugh and laugh especially V and Muhd . Damn it . We girls give the look and stared at each other blankly , except for Natyqa , she laughed as well . Pathetic . -.-'

The rest of the lessons , omg , it suck .

YEAY ! Today had NCDCC , did Footdrill Silver Section 2 which is Evacuation . *yawn*

It was fuuuuun , i love push-ups . :D Maybe my mood wasn't not that bad just now during cca so thats why i don't sound THAT moody today or instead , i'm just lazy to even know whats happening or whatever . Okay , i don't even know what i'm typing cause i'm sleepy , tired and seriously heartbroken . Not because of love but somethings which are so heartaching . Okay , lemme cut my crappy post now .

Anw , Happy 3rd Birthday My Dearest Nephew . XOXO .

I miss MMV !

Labels: I have a part-time boyfie .

longshot .

Thursday, February 4, 2010 @ 7:14 PM

Today absolutely bad . Serious shit . Pathetic days . Sickening faces . Irritating freakos . Omg .

Ms Teo was absolutely and definitely was on my nerves just now . My mood : OFF .

Okay , whatever . Lala was sharing with me about his junior which is mixed . Malay + Eurasian and definitely , i thought of my childhood friend , Erwin . Damn , i miss him , hell .

Okay , so yeah . I have a good news , for myself . Nyeahahaha !

Saturday , bowling with My Mr Vampire . Above picture . :D

Cooool jack . ^_^

Im not sure if i should bowl with them but ... nevermind .
Just watched Syurga Cinta , translate : Heavenly Love
Cried and cried again . Damn . Anw , just wanna wish my dear nephew , Anieq Altaqiey A Very Happy 3rd Birthday tomorrow . 5th jack ! :D
Picture below and my new hero below my nephew's pic . :D

Kadang-kadang Allah sembunyikan matahari, dia datangkan petir dan kilat, kita tertanya-tanya kemana hilang nya matahari, rupa-rupanya Allah memberi kita pelangi .

Jadi lah seorang wanita di dalam bekas kaca , yang sukar disuntuh, hanya orang yang mampu sahaja boleh memilikinya.

AWAL ASHAAAAAAAAAAAARI !

XOXO !

Crazier.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 @ 10:43 PM

Red Flag Day Nearing ! -.-'

Moody days are back , Bad mood stuffey . *thumbs down*

Blame hormones for this . Attitude towards people , once i get irritated , wait till rain stop then i talk .

Just dont feel like talking that much nowadays . Get irritted and mad easily . Hell . And i have a good news that NOW , i easily accept reality , even some weird , saddening , heartaching or whatever reality . I accept it in less than 24 hours . Last time , i accepted it but kept on doubting and carry on thinking abt it days and nights . Not now . Lazy to even think abt it , i supposed . Okay , weird . Just realised that quite a number of people called me weird today . Life's booo . How sweet that the sky is crying out for me , almost everyday . Random .

One of my close guy friend currently having some kind of problem with his gf and thats bad cause im the one feeling heartbroken here . Pathetic me .

Mummy , Daddy , Sister , Brother , Pls allow me to run away to somewhere far . Far far away from Singapore . London perhaps ? *claps!*

Im being so random cause my brain is spinning round . Toodles people ~

Labels: blah blah blah .

Sarcasm .

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 @ 7:54 PM

OH MUMMY !

" I left those unlucky footsteps in the library . "

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH , today suck biiiiggg timee ! Swear .

Mood ? More to *thumbs down* . I was silent in school the whole hours .

All i did was grin to people or give the S smile , had some stupid breakdown yesterday .

Fcuker and had another idiotic breakdown , sucker . Oh , im so pathetic today . Swear deh !

English enrichment tomorrow and still not done with my speeeeeeeeeech ! D.I.E.

I have ATLEAST 2 things to do now but i'm not doing it . OH , i lost my mooooood .

Gotta cut my crap now , need to fresh up abit . Tataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

Labels: dream guy, please exist in my sugardreams tonight . ty .